I wrote this back in 2009, and re-read it today...I am realizing I needed to:
"I think I spread myself too thin. So many avenues present themselves to
me even every day. It is pretty overwhelming. I am thinking about
what I might do as a career and that is still rather unclear, as I do
not know where exactly I will go and what exactly I might be doing. I
have almost a whole two years left of college—anything could happen in
those two years. I know that I love music and I love
people—particularly kids—so that is why I think music education is an
ideal field for me. So much is involved in being an educated educator.
The symphony of activities that I play out daily seems to be a
cacophonous composition; though, when I step back, I can see a larger
underlying idea.
I am where I am supposed to be.
More
than that, the people who are in my life are in my life for a reason. I
do not posit any wisdom on exactly why I know each person, but I know
that their life is supposed to impact mine, and my life is supposed to
impact theirs.
As I think more about spreading myself—my time,
energy, heart, soul, finances, etc.—a mile wide, I find myself asking,
“What really matters?”.
If a tree’s roots grow just a couple
centimeters below the ground, even though it may be spread out for a
mile, what may happen to it? If a strong wind comes along, the tree
would fall over, pulling the roots right out of the ground, given the
wind sheer force on the tree. If a flood comes, the topsoil will be
washed away, leaving the roots exposed to the elements, and unable to
soak up the nutrients from the ground.
In order for the tree to
live, it must put its roots deeply into the ground. This makes the tree
more stable and able to withstand almost anything. Moreover, it allows
the tree to live. In the same way, I must concentrate my energy,
efforts, and other resources—both tangible and intangible—in order to be
stable. This brings me back to my question, “What really matters?”
The
simple answer, yet one I insist on complicating almost daily, is
Knowing who Jesus Christ is. He is life. If I focus on him, sending my
roots deep into the ground, He will hold me up, even through the
metaphorical “storms” that happen. And as I go deeper in Him—in knowing
and showing his love—I can then send out my “roots” into other areas.
Everything He does affects who I am and everything He is affects what I
do.
I just read in Romans chapter 8 that “God works to the good
for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose”. All I
can do is to trust that God has something very good in mind for me; to
act justly that people would know that God cares for them ; to love
mercy that people would know God through Jesus Christ is a forgiving
God; and to walk as humbly as I can as I let Him shape me.
Knowing and trusting God. That’s deep."
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