What I Learned in 2014

On Health…our bodies and minds are so fragile. No matter what I do,
 good health is not a guarantee. 
On Parenthood…I don’t have to make my children love and respect me. 
My job is to love them with all my heart and respect them enough to let 
them make their own choices—carefully guiding them in a way that is 
unobtrusive. 
On Marriage…Allison and I are a team. We have the burden and joy of
 communicating with one another and making every decision together. 
On Cars…they break. We have to fix them. It usually costs a lot of money.
On Money…It comes and it goes. When I have more, I am not happier; when I
 have less, I am not less happy. Although, I usually am more comfortable
 with more money. Therefore, comfort does not equal happiness. 
On Teaching…Whether it is teaching music at school or home, or helping
 people to walk closer with Christ, I can only effectively teach 
what I am experiencing firsthand. 
On Family…If ever they annoy or bother me, it is because I need an 
attitude change. The people closest to me are the most valuable treasure 
that I can have. 
On Love…Everything I have ever said or done has been motivated by one of
 two things: 1) Loving God, or 2) Loving myself—even loving other people. 
On God…He alone gives a peace that surpasses my understanding and my
 ability to gain/bring peace. 
On This World…It is a temporary dwelling place—like a tent—meant to get
 us to a permanent home. 
On Life…True life is a gift from God, and He is offering it to
 everybody. It is also something I have to choose to participate in every day. 
On Patience…Refrain from saying certain things, and people will 
think you are patient. Maybe the Lord is working on me, too… 
On Joy…The kind of happiness written about in “On Money…” 
is probably more like joy. I can experience the joy of the Lord even when
 everything I have is being taken away. Joy can’t be taken from me 
because the hope of being with the Lord is a sure thing. 
In short, I have learned that I need Christ 
more than I thought I ever did; how much He loves me; 
and that the hope of being with Him in His kingdom is a sure thing.

Need Comfort? Maybe an Attitude Change...

It's 1:01 AM, two days after Thanksgiving.  I am at my parents' house with my wife and 1 1/2 year-old daughter.  My two younger sisters and their significant others are also here.  Of all the 8 people, 4 dogs, and 2 cats, various rodents and ladybugs in the house, everybody is sleeping except for me.  "Why?" do you ask?  Given the limited number of rooms, my family has to sleep in one room together, which is great--don't get me wrong.  The only thing is, this particular night my beautiful little toddler was having trouble sleeping, so my lovely, caring wife thought we needed to bring our child into bed with us, so she could sleep soundly.  It worked great, but at the expense of my comfort (just you try to sleep with little feet kicking your back.)

Now I am downstairs, putting my thoughts down because I feel like there is something to be learned from my life circumstances right now.

Like sleeping on the edge of the bed, I have found myself to be uncomfortable in a lot of different situations recently.  Without going into specifics about the situations, I thought maybe it would be enlightening to examine common factors of these situations:

1) I am not in control.

I have a way that I want things to go--not just certain things, but everything!  Some things I give up more easily than others, but with other things the experience is less comfortable.

2) I am not the center of attention.

I don't feel like I am getting my due recognition or thanks for what I do and who I am.

3) I am the center of attention.

Or at least it seems like it.  Sometimes I don't like being the focus because it puts the pressure on to perform without mistakes.  It seems like my faults alone are being laid bare, which cannot be an accurate representation of me, can it?!

4) I am put in a situation without being properly prepared.

These are the ones that really stretch me.  I often find that I am indeed able to draw from past experience, but sometimes that is not enough.


So what to do about these situations?  I think it may not be a matter of changing my circumstances, but one of changing my attitude.  Am I ever going to find true comfort in this world.  I am reminded of what Jesus says, "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart--I have overcome the world."  I thought I knew what this meant, but why do I still struggle with discomfort and discontent?

I have been thinking about a verse recently in Colossians in which Paul encourages the church to "let the word of Christ dwell richly among you."  I am realizing that it is not just knowing the Bible but a lifestyle of obeying the voice ("word") of the Lord.  God is calling me, and other believers, to be a different type of people.Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. 

"…15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."   --Colossians:3

1) God is in control.  Understanding that more and more will give me peace

2) It is not about me.  I should be focusing on encouraging and building up others.

3) When there is something for me to say or do--to perform--it should be done in a way that brings glory to God's name.  If God is being praised and obeyed through my life, that is enough.  I shouldn't need any recognition because I have everything I need from my heavenly Father.

4) If I am in Christ, I am truly ready for anything--no less any work that God would have me do.

I should be thankful--even for my circumstances.

Earthly circumstances are temporary, but God's kingdom is eternal.  God is doing everything in my circumstances to get me ready for his kingdom.  So while I am here, I want to participate in Him perfecting me in His love.

I think I will go back upstairs to be with my family now.

The Pastor's Heart

Read John 21:15-17, then read this poem.  How willing are we to lay down our lives for those the Lord loves?

 "The Pastor's Heart"
by Mark Hafner

Why does the shepherd gaze so long, gazing at the sheep?
Why does the shepherd sit so long, sitting at their side?
What do the sheep really need, needs hidden deep inside?

He sees the ones he loves, the ones he's called to serve.
He sees the ones that need him so, and prays he can preserve.

New sheep are often added, added to the fold.
"The shepherd - he is kind," the new ones are told.

The sheep gather around him.  For his touch they gather near.

He wonders where to lead them; so while the flock does rest
he looks ahead to find the way, and then he gets his rest.

Often we have seen him kneeling, kneeling with a lamb.
With arms stretched out to God he prays holding up that lamb.

He looks away at the city - many comforts he could have had there.
But he turns back to us and says, "I have greater treasures here!"

The shepherd's life is hard.  The shepherd's days are long.
His own concerns he puts aside.  For the sheep he must be strong.

The shepherd - he is not alone, for he calls the flock his own.

To be a shepherd the cost is steep;
he pays it gladly for the sheep, for the sheep, for the sheep.

A Mile Wide and a Couple Centimeters Deep

I wrote this back in 2009, and re-read it today...I am realizing I needed to:

"I think I spread myself too thin. So many avenues present themselves to me even every day. It is pretty overwhelming. I am thinking about what I might do as a career and that is still rather unclear, as I do not know where exactly I will go and what exactly I might be doing. I have almost a whole two years left of college—anything could happen in those two years. I know that I love music and I love people—particularly kids—so that is why I think music education is an ideal field for me. So much is involved in being an educated educator. The symphony of activities that I play out daily seems to be a cacophonous composition; though, when I step back, I can see a larger underlying idea.

I am where I am supposed to be.

More than that, the people who are in my life are in my life for a reason. I do not posit any wisdom on exactly why I know each person, but I know that their life is supposed to impact mine, and my life is supposed to impact theirs.

As I think more about spreading myself—my time, energy, heart, soul, finances, etc.—a mile wide, I find myself asking, “What really matters?”.

If a tree’s roots grow just a couple centimeters below the ground, even though it may be spread out for a mile, what may happen to it? If a strong wind comes along, the tree would fall over, pulling the roots right out of the ground, given the wind sheer force on the tree. If a flood comes, the topsoil will be washed away, leaving the roots exposed to the elements, and unable to soak up the nutrients from the ground.

In order for the tree to live, it must put its roots deeply into the ground. This makes the tree more stable and able to withstand almost anything. Moreover, it allows the tree to live. In the same way, I must concentrate my energy, efforts, and other resources—both tangible and intangible—in order to be stable. This brings me back to my question, “What really matters?”

The simple answer, yet one I insist on complicating almost daily, is Knowing who Jesus Christ is. He is life. If I focus on him, sending my roots deep into the ground, He will hold me up, even through the metaphorical “storms” that happen. And as I go deeper in Him—in knowing and showing his love—I can then send out my “roots” into other areas. Everything He does affects who I am and everything He is affects what I do.

I just read in Romans chapter 8 that “God works to the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose”. All I can do is to trust that God has something very good in mind for me; to act justly that people would know that God cares for them ; to love mercy that people would know God through Jesus Christ is a forgiving God; and to walk as humbly as I can as I let Him shape me.

Knowing and trusting God. That’s deep."

The Perfect Gift

I'm sure you've been there.  You want to give that special someone the best gift they could possibly get.  Something that will leave them wowed and astounded.  Something that will take their breath away--often something surprising or profound. 

Have you ever asked yourself why you want to give the perfect gift?

If you are anything like me, there may be multiple reasons why you are looking for a special gift for someone.  I have looked for special gifts because I have gone through something special or memorable with a family member or friend.  I have given gifts because I wanted a particular person to like me.  I have given gifts because I wanted to appear generous or giving (or get another deduction on my tax return.)  I am sure I have given gifts out of pure love, too...or have I?

Ultimately, only God can answer whether I have had pure motives.  Reflecting on all of these reasons why I have given gifts, I am seeing that some of the reasons for my gift-giving have been selfish.  Would that make my gifts imperfect?

I have been thinking about this verse in James 1:17, "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."

There seem to be a couple of key words..."Every good thing..." and "every perfect gift."  This verse is saying that anything that is good and perfect that could be given is coming from one place--and what is that place?

"From above..."  Above what?  I think the answer is above everything--above this world, above people, above me.  Essentially, all good and perfect gifts are unattainable, at least by human effort.  So all the good gifts I thought I had given are actually not good at all.  Or perhaps I merely have a misunderstanding about where even what I have given has come from.

"...Coming down from the Father of lights..."  So my Father in heaven is the one who has given me everything, and anything that I thought I myself had given was actually being given by Him. 

Acts 17:25 says, "nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things" (emphasis added).  So God gives everything to everybody--including the very breath in their bodies.  This verse also tells me that I have nothing to give God--He doesn't need anything from me.

  I cannot give anything good to anybody--including to God.  So where does this leave me?

I am realizing that all God wants me to do is to receive what He is giving me--with a willing spirit and a joyful heart.  This may sound extreme to some, but I have found it to be the most fulfilling way and the only path to experiencing true life. 
Also, I have assurance--assurance that God will continue to provide and continue to give me everything that is perfect.

The last part of James 1:17 says, "with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."  In other words, God does not change.  It is impossible for Him to give anything that is not good and perfect.  Impossible.  He only gives what is good and perfect.

He has given us His most precious Son, Jesus Christ, so how will He not with Him give us all things?  (Romans 8:32)

 "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom."  (Luke 12:32)

A gift cannot get more perfect than that.  Will you receive this perfect, free gift from God?